Body as Temple: Developing a Loving Relationship with Your Physical Self

# Body as Temple: Developing a Loving Relationship with Your Physical Self

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## Welcome, Seeker of Inner Pleasure

Hey there, welcome back to our journey into tantric self-discovery. I'm Alex, and if you're new here, I should probably introduce myself. I'm just a regular 35-year-old guy who happened to strike gold in the tech world a decade ago. But trust me, the mansions and supercars aren't what bring me true fulfillment. My real wealth comes from the inner journey I've been on—one that I'm privileged to share with you.

In our previous explorations, we've established the foundations of tantric self-practice, created sacred spaces for our journey, and developed a conscious relationship with our breath. Today, we're diving into what might be the most revolutionary aspect of tantric practice in our modern world: developing a loving, reverent relationship with your physical body.

I still remember the moment I realized how disconnected I was from my own body. I was at a workshop in Thailand, and the teacher asked us to simply place our hands on different parts of our bodies and notice what we felt. When I put my hands on my chest, I was shocked to discover that I couldn't actually feel my heartbeat. Years of living in my head—running companies, solving problems, always planning the next move—had created such a profound disconnection that I couldn't even sense this most basic rhythm of life.

What I've discovered—and what I hope to share with you today—is that our bodies are not just vehicles for carrying our brains around. They are living temples of sensation, wisdom, and pleasure. In tantra, the body is not something to transcend or overcome; it's the very ground of our spiritual experience, the sacred vessel through which we experience life itself.

## What You'll Discover Today

Before we begin our journey together, let me share what awaits you in this post:

- The tantric perspective on the body as sacred and how this differs from mainstream cultural views

- The science behind embodiment and how physical awareness affects your nervous system and brain

- Step-by-step techniques for developing deeper body awareness and appreciation

- My personal experiences with overcoming body disconnection and shame

- Thought experiments to transform your relationship with your physical self

- Interactive challenges to develop your embodiment skills

- Ways to integrate body reverence into your daily life and sexual practice

Ready to begin? Take a moment to feel the weight of your body where it contacts your chair or cushion, notice your breath moving in your chest, and let's embark on this journey together.

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## Understanding the Body as Temple in Tantric Philosophy

In many spiritual traditions, the body is viewed with suspicion or even disdain—a source of temptation to be controlled, a prison of flesh to be escaped, or at best, a temporary vehicle to be tolerated until spiritual liberation. Tantra offers a radically different perspective: the body is sacred, a living temple where spirit and matter unite.

The Sanskrit word for body, "deha," shares its root with "devalaya," which means "temple of the divine." This linguistic connection reveals a profound truth at the heart of tantric philosophy: your physical form is not separate from the divine but is itself a manifestation of sacred energy.

In tantric understanding, every cell of your body is infused with the same consciousness that permeates the universe. Your sensations, desires, pleasures, and even pains are not obstacles to spiritual experience but gateways to it. When approached with awareness and reverence, physical experiences become opportunities for profound awakening.

This perspective stands in stark contrast to the messages many of us have received from our cultures. We're often taught that the body is:

- Something to be controlled and disciplined

- A collection of flaws to be corrected

- A machine to be optimized for performance

- An object to be judged by its appearance

- A source of shame, particularly regarding sexuality

These messages create a profound disconnection from our embodied experience. We learn to live "from the neck up," treating our bodies as somewhat alien territories that we inhabit but don't fully inhabit or trust.

Tantra invites us to heal this split by recognizing that consciousness doesn't just reside in the brain—it permeates every cell. Your body has its own intelligence, its own wisdom, its own way of knowing that complements and enriches intellectual understanding.

The tantric approach to the body includes several key principles:

1. **Reverence**: The body is approached with an attitude of respect and even worship, recognizing its inherent sacredness.

2. **Presence**: Rather than escaping or numbing bodily experience, tantra invites full presence with all sensations, pleasant or unpleasant.

3. **Integration**: The goal is not to transcend the body but to fully integrate physical experience with emotional, mental, and spiritual dimensions.

4. **Pleasure as Path**: Physical pleasure, when experienced with awareness, becomes a legitimate spiritual practice rather than a distraction from it.

5. **Wholeness**: Every part of the body is honored, including those parts that cultural conditioning may have taught us to reject or ignore.

When we begin to embody these principles, something remarkable happens: the boundary between "spiritual practice" and "everyday life" begins to dissolve. Eating, walking, bathing, working, resting, making love—all become opportunities for presence, awareness, and communion with the sacred.

### The Science of Embodiment

What's fascinating is how modern science is validating many aspects of the tantric understanding of embodiment. Research in fields like neuroscience, psychoneuroimmunology, and somatic psychology is revealing the profound interconnection between body awareness, brain function, and overall wellbeing.

The emerging field of embodied cognition has demonstrated that our thinking is not confined to the brain but is shaped by our physical experiences. Studies show that our posture, movements, and sensations directly influence our emotions, decisions, and even abstract thinking.

For instance, research at Columbia University found that people sitting in hard chairs were more rigid in negotiations than those in soft chairs. Other studies have shown that simply holding a warm drink makes people perceive others as more emotionally "warm."

The polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how our nervous system constantly scans our environment for safety cues, with profound effects on our capacity for connection, pleasure, and presence. When we feel safe in our bodies, we can access states of openness and receptivity essential for tantric practice.

Research on interoception—our ability to sense internal bodily states—shows that people with greater interoceptive awareness tend to have better emotional regulation, more empathy, and greater overall wellbeing. Tantric practices that develop body awareness are essentially training in interoception.

Perhaps most relevant to tantric practice is research on the relationship between embodiment and sexuality. Studies have shown that women with greater body awareness report more sexual satisfaction and easier orgasms. Similarly, men with better interoceptive skills demonstrate greater control over ejaculation and more fulfilling sexual experiences.

What science is discovering, tantric practitioners have known for centuries: the body is not just a vehicle for consciousness but an integral part of it. By developing a more conscious relationship with our physical selves, we enhance not just our pleasure but our capacity for presence, connection, and spiritual experience.

### Common Misconceptions About the Body in Tantra

Before we dive into practices, let's clear up some misunderstandings I frequently encounter:

**"Tantra teaches that some body types are more spiritual or better for practice than others."** This is completely false. Tantric philosophy recognizes the divine in all bodies, regardless of size, shape, age, ability, or any other characteristic. Your body, exactly as it is right now, is the perfect vessel for your tantric journey.

**"To practice tantra, you need to be flexible/fit/healthy."** While certain physical practices might require adaptation based on your body's needs, the core of tantric embodiment is accessible to everyone. In fact, working with limitations, illness, or pain can sometimes offer profound opportunities for developing presence and compassion.

**"Tantric body practices are primarily about enhancing sexual performance."** While tantric embodiment can certainly enhance sexual experience, reducing it to a set of techniques for better performance misses the point entirely. The goal is not to "improve" the body but to develop a more conscious, loving relationship with it exactly as it is.

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## My Personal Journey with Body Reverence

My relationship with my body has been a winding path, with plenty of detours and wrong turns along the way. Like many men in our culture, I grew up with the message that the body was primarily a tool—something to be trained, disciplined, and used for achievement rather than experienced as a source of wisdom or pleasure in its own right.

As a teenager and young adult, I approached my body the way I approached everything else: as a project to optimize. I cycled through intense workout regimens, restrictive diets, and performance-enhancing supplements. I tracked metrics obsessively—weight, body fat percentage, max lifts, running times. My focus was entirely on how my body looked and what it could do, never on how it felt from the inside or what it might be trying to tell me.

This approach seemed to work well enough on the surface. I was fit, healthy by conventional standards, and received positive reinforcement from a culture that values a certain aesthetic. But beneath this apparent success was a profound disconnection. I lived almost entirely in my head, treating my body as something separate from "me"—a possession rather than an integral part of my being.

The first crack in this paradigm came during a period of extreme stress while scaling my first company. I developed debilitating migraines that no amount of medication could touch. After exhausting conventional medical approaches, a friend suggested I try bodywork with a practitioner trained in both Eastern and Western modalities.

During my first session, the practitioner placed her hands on my shoulders and simply said, "Your body is trying to tell you something. Are you listening?" The question hit me like a thunderbolt. I realized I had never actually listened to my body; I had only ever given it orders.

This began a slow journey of reconnection. I started with basic mindfulness practices, simply noticing sensations without immediately trying to change or judge them. I discovered that my body had been sending me signals for years that I had systematically ignored—tension patterns that preceded migraines, subtle energetic shifts that indicated when I was pushing too hard, intuitive knowing that manifested as physical sensation.

The deeper turning point came during that workshop in Thailand I mentioned earlier. The teacher guided us through a practice called "The Body Blessing," where we placed our hands on different parts of our bodies with an attitude of gratitude and reverence. When I placed my hands on my heart, trying to feel my heartbeat, I was confronted with a wall of numbness. I couldn't feel anything.

The teacher noticed my confusion and came over. "What do you notice?" she asked.

"Nothing," I replied. "I can't feel my heartbeat."

She nodded knowingly. "That's where your work begins. Your body is still here, still faithful, still beating your heart even though you've ignored it for so long. Can you feel the miracle in that?"

Her words broke something open in me. I began to weep as I recognized the profound loyalty of this body that had carried me through life despite my neglect. In that moment, I glimpsed what it might mean to relate to my body not as a possession but as a beloved companion on my journey.

From there, my exploration deepened. I began studying various somatic practices—authentic movement, contact improvisation, different forms of bodywork and dance. I learned to track subtle sensations and energy movements. I discovered how emotions that I had suppressed for years were still held in my tissues, waiting to be acknowledged and released.

The integration of these discoveries with sexuality was both challenging and revelatory. I had to confront how much of my sexual experience had been performance-oriented rather than pleasure-oriented. I had treated my body (and the bodies of partners) as instruments for achieving orgasm rather than temples of sensation to be honored and explored.

Learning to slow down, to feel more, to be present with sensation without rushing toward climax—these were profound challenges to my conditioned patterns. There were frustrating plateaus and moments of regression. But there were also breakthroughs that revealed entirely new dimensions of pleasure and connection.

One particularly powerful experience came during a solo tantric practice about three years into my journey. I was exploring conscious touch as meditation, moving very slowly and with complete attention over my own body. As I brought awareness to my chest, I suddenly felt my heartbeat—not just intellectually knowing it was there, but actually feeling it from the inside, experiencing the rhythm that had been faithfully sustaining me my entire life.

The sensation expanded until it felt like my entire body was pulsing with this rhythm. Boundaries seemed to dissolve, and I experienced a profound recognition: this body is not something I have; it is something I am. There is no separation between "me" and "my body"—there is only this living, breathing, feeling presence.

What I discovered through this journey is that reverence for the body isn't about achieving some idealized state of health or appearance. It's about coming home to the wisdom, intelligence, and sacredness that have been here all along, waiting patiently for our attention and care.

### What This Could Mean for You

Your journey with body reverence will be uniquely yours. The specific practices that resonate, the challenges you encounter, and the insights you gain will be shaped by your own body, history, and temperament.

What I can promise is this: as you develop a more loving, conscious relationship with your body, you'll discover resources for pleasure, wisdom, and spiritual connection that have been available all along but perhaps overlooked. The body you have right now—regardless of its size, shape, age, or condition—is the perfect vessel for your tantric journey.

This isn't about transforming your body into something different. It's about transforming your relationship with the body you already have. And that transformation begins with presence, with the simple but revolutionary act of bringing kind, curious awareness to your embodied experience.

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## The Practice: Step-by-Step Guide to Body Reverence

Now, let's get practical. Here are five foundational practices for developing a more loving, conscious relationship with your body:

### Preparation

Before beginning any embodiment practice, ensure you have:

- **Time**: Set aside at least 30-45 minutes when you won't be interrupted.

- **Space**: Practice in your tantric sanctuary if possible, or any quiet, comfortable space where you feel safe.

- **Temperature**: Ensure the room is warm enough that you can be comfortable with minimal clothing if you choose.

- **Props**: Have a yoga mat or soft blanket for floor practices, and perhaps cushions for support.

- **Intention**: Take a moment to set an intention